


Never Let It Go

by Nervouslaughter508



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Bruce Banner Feels, Depression, Multi, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Protective May Parker (Spider-Man), Teenage Drama, Teenage Rebellion, Tony Stark Has Issues, Trigger Warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-07-24 21:30:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20021350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervouslaughter508/pseuds/Nervouslaughter508
Summary: There's many things Tony hates, he is a very dramatic and petty teenager, but he hates 1) Wheeling of any kind. And not the car variety, the kind where he is left out because everyone's getting laid and he is watching. 2) Anyone who talks shit about his family 3) school and the rest are related.Bruce is new to almost about everything it seems. He's decided to start a-new, make some changes in his life. He's tired of being the same person he's always been. He has a new job, new boyfriend, new budget, but he still can't escape the mistakes he's made in the past. Maybe he never will.May isn't looking for anything. She wants to raise her son, she wants to help her brothers get by, she wants to go to college and get her degree, she wants a way out. She wants what she needs, and has always been good at staying inside of her lane, but when she realizes she wants something she might not need everything that comes crashing around her.Highschool AU where Tony isn't rich and lives with his older siblings Bruce and May, Mays son Peter, and Vision in a bad neighborhood. All he wants in life is a change. Something exciting. Something dangerous. And new. His siblings want the same thing.





	1. The Less I Know The Better

(Tony)

Tony Stark is in a pickle. (Being in a pickle is actually a very fun and interesting phrase to him. He should seriously look it up to find out what it means. Is it sexual, stupid or comedic? Tony thinks its all three of those). His pickle (heh) is the fact that all of his friends seem fond of the idea of pairing up the second they hit high school, leaving him in the dust. He's starting to wonder if they had meetings to figure out how this was going to go, they seem very well rehearsed. They probably don't, Tony is just imaginative in the worst ways. An example of what he means is he's at lunch and Steve and Bucky are doing this weird nuzzling thing. Clint and Natasha are flat out making out in front of Tony's pure eyes. 

\------------

He walks home alone despite Clint only living a few houses away from him. They used to walk together a while ago, but not anymore. Now Natasha is driving him everywhere in her nice car. They both live in the same area, the houses that are rusting and ugly, always a shade of gray or beige. There's a park with a metal slide and a plastic dinosaur, and four swings, and nothing else. It's November so everything is a gray color. It makes Tony feel better about his taupe house.

Bruce's car is in the driveway. He has a green Honda. The radio works well if you hit it violently. May has a very nice car. The only reason it's so nice though is because she pays Tony to slave over it. Inside, the TV is playing an old animated movie. They don’t have cable, just a very alarming amount of DVDs. Tony knows every single on of them. Tony sheds his coat and shoes, grabs a coke and settles on the couch. Bruce is sitting with his work laptop, and he beams at Tony. Tony feels better already.

“How was your day?”

“Same ol, same ol. Where is everyone?” He pops open the can.

“May is getting pizza with Peter. Vision is-” he lifts up the lumpy blanket on the rug. Vision is sucking his thumb, curled up, blonde hair sweaty and matted. “- sleeping to The Fox and The Hound. Again. No one appreciates the classics anymore.”

“I appreciate you.” Tony teases. Bruce rolls his eyes fondly.

\------------

Friday is the best day of the week. Tony Works at Titan, a dumpy mechanics shop. It pays good and Tony is good at helping people so it could be way worse. It could be like one of May’s jobs working at a department store. Ugh.

May picks him up from school and drives him there. “Hey Tones, how was it?” Tony slips out a quick good and cranes his head to say hi to Vision. Peter is sleeping in the back, glasses slipping off his face. Vision smiles at him and reaches a chubby fist out, grabbing Tony's hair.

“Ow, owwwww, ow!” Tony jerks his head to pull away.

“He’s saying you need to cut it.” May teases, pulling out of the driveway.

“My long, gorgeous, and luscious locks? I don't think so” Tony responds, rubbing his head. He loves Vision but he has a killer grip.

When he comes in Quill is talking to someone on the phone, and Nebula yells at him. “Late!”

“I know!” He yells back, going to the back to put his work shirt and tie his apron.

Quill hangs up and moves aside for Tony, coming behind the desk. He plops on the only chair which is more of a stool, studying Tony. His head rests on the keyboard, dirty blonde curls slowly cascading down his head. “You show up late every day with Starbucks and never get in trouble. I show up thirty seconds later and the boss gets me. Teach me.”

Tony smirks. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

Stephen Strange, on of Tony's coworkers snorts on his way out. “He’s just fast.”

Tony shoots him a dirty look and Quill laughs, his face still molded on the keyboard.

Stephen leaves and Tony redirects his attention to Quill. “He lies.”

\-------------

((tw for ocd and sad stuff))

Bruce comes to get him while they're locking the place down. Tony is washing his hands in the bathroom and is about to wave his hands to get a napkin.

But then he stops.

And starts again. He squirts soap on and rinses it off again. Its not good enough. He starts again. And again. Squirt, rinse, repeat. The pads of his fingers start to burn as the force increases. Tony can feel his chest start to constrict, and actual, real tears start welling up in his eyes. He’s just burning with rage at himself. Why can’t he get it right?

But then he rinses off the soap and starts again.

Quill knocks at the door. “Yo Tony, we’re ready to go. Your brother needs you to hurry up.”

“Alright,” Tony says, hoping he doesn’t hear the crack in his voice.

When he gets in the car he shoves his hands in his pockets, which hurts a bit.

Bruce looks at him oddly, and when they hit a red light, it hits him. “Tony,” he says gently. “Can I see?”

Tony sighs but holds his hands out. Bruce examines them, then groans.

“Shit. How long?”

It all comes at once, Tony must be blubbering. “A few weeks-” “Tony!” “-but it wasn’t that bad! I didn’t think it would get this bad.”

“That boy said you were in there for 10 minutes Tony. You were crying. Thats not good,” Bruce takes a breath. “Do we need-do we need to put you back on meds?”

Tony flinches. He hates that word. “Oh come on, its not like I’m twelve, trying to adjust to Vision coming to us and mom dying.”

“Tony.”

“Its different Bruce. I’ve been getting caught in loops. Everything's the same. Its hard to stop, to get out of them.”

“Even when its hurting you?”

Tony messes with his shoelace. “Its stupid.”

Bruce rubs his face, looking tired. Tony feels guilty that he's upset on his behalf.

\-------------

  
Tony had always had this problem. He describes himself as a tourist, and he gets easily bored. He always wants something new. And now, he’s stuck. Same classes, same people, same old routine. Bantering with Quill and his co worker, watching his friends be happy, exchanging insults with Hammer and Stone. Retracing the lines in his notebook, everything is the same.

\-------------

“Push it real good!” Wade sings as he slides Tonys drink and frozen chicken nuggets across the counter. Tony mimes the electronic keyboard.

Wade shakes his head fondly and mockingly. However, everything he seems to do is in a mocking manner. “God, I used to be able to pull those clothes off,” he staring at the small TV that is playing an MTV rewind. Tony fishes out a ten (gas station prices) and smirks.

“Yeah, for who?”

“Your mother liked the show. And eleven bucks for that comment.”

Tony rolls his eyes and holds out the ten. “Who’s paying for your beer and birth control? Me. Take the money.”

Wade takes it, grumbling, and gives him seventy three cents. “Hows school?”

Tony takes his bag. “Shit. Hows Josh or Chad or Nathan or whatever his name is?”

“I think he’s cheating on me.” Wade says serious for once. “And his name is Nathan.” Tony is pretty sure Wade is really a sarcastic twenty-eight-year-old woman with dyed blonde hair, fake nails, and a kick-ass playlist of Pink on the inside.

“With who?” Tony is a little bit too surprised.

“Hey! He’s attractive!” Wade defends. The hesitates. “A little scary but…”

Nathan is terrifying. Tony met him once (he walked in on them doing things that should not be done your local 7/11) and that was enough once Nathan shot him this glare that turned his blood hot and cold at the same time. Wades silly and kind of an idiot, but hes pretty cute. Nathan and him make a odd couple.

"Maybe it's revenge for your thing with Logan with the metal fists." Tony suggests.

  
Wade shrugs. “Maybe. Possibly. I can not resist the metal men.”

Tony shrugs too. “He’ll come back. He always does.”

“He hasn’t gone anywhere. Maybe he should.”

Tony yawns, checking his phone. Its seven, he should be getting home, Bruce doesn’t like him out alone when its dark. “That would be fun. Go to Mexico.”

Wade sighs wistfully. “I wish I could afford that.”

Tony waves, taking his bags and leaving.

Wade smiles at the line at people. “I can help whos next.”

As an older woman demands a pack of camels to go with her Frosted flakes Wade wonders to himself “I wonder what Logan with the metal fists is up to these days.”

  
\-------------

Sunday after. Tony gets up late. Vision and Peter are watching- “What the fuck? Why are you watching Pulp Fiction? You guys are like one.”

Peter pouts adorably. He's got those Bambi eyes Bruce, May and Tony inherited too. “I’m five and we like it! Right, Vis?”

Vision smiles up at Tony. Tony relents because they’re adorable. “Fine, but your mom's going to kill you.” He’s the uncle and brother of the year.

Peter gets this look in his eyes. “She won’t.”

It's hard to remember Peter is his nephew and not his brother. He used to hate Peter, the small brown-eyed baby who always had his sister's attention. May would be 18 in the summer. She would be a good mother to the child she never planned, everyone knew. Their father had disapproved, but he’s the asshole who had Bruce when he was young too and had a child with another woman, dumped it on Bruce and Mays' doorstep, and drove off a bridge at the age of 68. He disapproved of a lot of things he was just as guilty of. They didn’t care. They weren’t affected. They always had to care for themselves. What more was one more mouth to feed?

Bruce comes down later, looking handsome in a nice button-down shirt with shorts and his curls somewhat tamed. Tony whistled. “Gotta hot date Brucey bear?”

Vision tried to whistle but spit all over himself. Bruce chuckled and wiped his mouth. “Yeah.Thors coming to pick me up. Mays sleeping, and you guys need to chill. Let her sleep.

The doorbell rings- and keeps on ringing. “Shit! Didn’t you put that sign up outside!?” Bruce rushes to the door.

“I did! Can he read?” Tony feels panic and Bruce panic.

Bruce whips around to glare at him. Vision starts crying. The ringing is annoying and getting very loud. Tony feels dizzy. He picks up one of Mays' heels, aims, and throws it at the little white box. It hits it, and the beeping stops. However, the heel is stuck, the heel part of wedged in one of the holes. And its cracked now. That will cost a lot. But the beeping stopped!

May comes out PISSED.

“Who the-” she looks ta Peter and Vision on the couch, watching wide eyed. “Boys go to your room and play.”

They go and May starts.

“Who the fuck is the idiot who rang the doorbell at 4:30 in the morning, ignoring the signs?!” She shouts.

It's evening.

Bruce leads Thor inside and May (who has never met him before) pretty much cools down. Melts, it's pretty funny. May, in her tank top and athletic shorts, hair a ruffled mess and Thor who is pretty much a god, facing off. (Tony doesn’t care though. Bruce could literally date anyone, like Keanu Reeves or Elon Musk or an actual god, and Tony would still not approve. Bruce keeps Tony going, no matter how awesome those two are.)

“I’m sorry ma’am the sign had flipped over- I had no idea,” Thor says, genuine. “Hello, Anthony.” Tony waves, still staring at the heel stuck. He wonders how long it will be until May tears him apart for it and until she notices.

“I’m Thor, Bruces boyfriend.” Tonys' eyes snap to him and May shaking hands. Boyfriends? They’re official?

“Nice to meet you, I’m-” May attention redirects to her heel. And the cracked device. And then Tony, whos standing right there.

“What the fuck Tony!”


	2. But Not Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for faint panic attack, something that can be interpreted as sexual assault.

(Tony)

“I don’t believe that though. If it's down there, its lust. If it's in your torso its love.” Rhodey says.

“Where in your torso?” Tony asks.

“Everywhere. I don’t know. I can’t describe it.”

“People used to believe your soul was in your stomach.” Pepper appends in.

“Where else would it be?” Tony turns to her. Her nose and cheeks are pink.

“Your brain?”

“Your brain wouldn’t work although. When it comes down to it, you don’t think about falling in love with someone. It just happens.” Rhodey interjects.

Tony smirks. “We’re thinking about it now.”

“Yes but-”

Rhodey interrupts. “We shouldn’t even be talking about it. Or thinking about it. I never said I loved her. I said I loved the way she looked.

“That's lust.”

“Not really. It doesn’t mean I want that. It just means I really like the way she looks. But, if i came down to it at the right moment, I would kiss her.”

“But then its lust.”

“Tony. No. Its not even love. It's just a strong sense of- admiration. Honor. I’m not sure. But love usually comes first.” Rhodey tells him. He's also flushed from the weather. They’re walking past a field, heading to the 7/11., and for some reason, talking about feelings.

“Not it doesn’t. No. It. Doesn’t. You can date someone without loving them.” Pepper says sternly and surely.

Rhodey sighs, frustrated. They all hate admitting they’re wrong. “That's not what I meant. Like, when I dated you, I didn’t love, love you. I loved you as a friend.”

“Friendzoned,” Tony adds helpfully. Pepper laughs a bit.

“Yeah, exactly. You can’t decide how you feel.”

“You can choose how you act though.” Rhodey says.

“But thats hard. You want to love someone you’re dating. Why else would you be dating?” Tony stops to tie his show, still talking.

They ponder about it, studying Tony who shrugs. “Bruce told me.”

“Is Bruce dating that tall blonde guy?” Pepper asks.

“Yeah, I guess its official now.”

“Does he love him?”

“I don’t know. He might. They’ve only being seeing each other for a month.”

Rhodey tenses and stops. Pepper and Tony turn to him. “What?”

“We should go. She’s here.”

Tony cranes his head eagerly, looking around everywhere. “Who?”

“Carol.” Rhodey whispers.

“Her?” Tonys's eyes focus on a blonde girl in the field. She walking in their direction, eyes fixed on her phone.

Rhodey buries his head in his hands. “Stop staring Tony. Yes, her.”

“Sorry, I trying to get a vibe to see who she is.”

“She's the kind of girl Rhodey falls in love with.”

“Oh my god, I DIDN’T SAY LOVE!” Rhodey whisper shouts, which is more of a shout. It attracts Blondie's attention and Pepper waves at her. The girl smiles and bounds over, causing Rhodey to panic visibly, and he groans. Tony pats his shoulder.

  
“RIP.” He says.

“Hi Pepper!” The girl chirps. “Hey James. I don’t think I know you. I’m Carol.”

Rhodey waves awkwardly. Tony smiles and takes over. “I don’t think so. I don’t go to St. Aves, I go to Lee high, the shitty school. I’m Tony.”

Carol doesn’t look uncomfortable, despite Tony's excessive information. He likes her.

“Hey Carol,” Rhodey says. His voice sounds heavy.

“Hey James.” She says again, more awkward.

Pepper clears her throat. “We’re going to get slushies. Wanna come?”

Carol smirks. “In this weather? Hell yes.”

It's bitterly cold. Tony and her slap hands.

Carol is really cool. And she totally likes Rhodey. They exchange slushies and smile at lot at each other, and when they talk to each other, there's no one else in the world to them. Carol winks at Rhodey and he stumbles back into the ramen isle . Pepper agrees with him once she sees that.

“Wade, considering as I am a devoted customer and help you afford your Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs, how about a discount?”

Wade looks at all the snacks and slushies. “How about no. How about 20 cents off.”

“That works.”

They sit under a gazebo. The chilly wind whips their hair. The sky is grey. Everyone is a different shade of pink or red. Tony takes a candid photo of Carol and Rhodey smiling at each other, while Carol wipes under her eye. Pepper has her eyes closed and is sipping her slushie.

He posts it, titling ‘slushies in 39-degree weather’. May, Quill, Sam, and Natasha like it. The last two surprises him. He decides to go through Nats feed. It's mostly just Clint, but Steve and Busky also make a lot of appearances, along with a few other friends. He’s in a few pictures. Even then, there's a distance.

He exits quickly after.  
\-------------

Its Monday, but he wakes up in good spirits. He goes to the bathroom, but Peters in there. Tony groans. “Close the door!”

He knocks on Bruce's door. “Bruce! I need your bathroom!”

Bruce yells something, but Tony is ‘this’ close to pissing himself, so he opens the door. Bruce is alone thankfully, but he's on his phone, half-dressed, sounding panicked. He mouths hurry up to Tony. “Yes, of course, sir. My apologies. I will be right there.”

When Tony is done, Bruce is gone. May is trying to dress Vision while Peter sips on his Gogurt that was supposed to be his snack. Tony slips into his shows. Tony scoops up Vision so May can grab her purse and put on her shows. Shes mumbling shit under her breath repeatedly.

When they are almost ready to go, May almost breaks down crying when Peter has to run back inside to grab something. They wait outside so May can lock the door.

Clint and Natasha are leaving at the same time. Tony tries to duck his head but they notice him and call his name out. “Tony!” Clint yells. “Do you needa ride?”

May cuts in before Tony can reject. “Yes! Yes he does!” Tony looks at her exasperated. He can’t blame her though, because she doesn’t know what has been going on. “I’m sorry, I’m running late and-”

“Its fine. Love you.”

Tony tries to smile as he makes his way to Natashas fancy car that has no business being in the neighborhood.

He sits in the back while they bicker over the radio. He gets on his phone, smiling at Carol and Rhodey relentless flirting/fighting on the group chat.

crisiskarol- no way, superman only has like one weakness  
Honeybear- so lois isn’t his weakness  
saltnpepper- guys c’mon. You’re spamming me. its too early to be arguing about stupid shit  
Honeybear- its never too early  
saltnpepper- any argument can be stopped with shut up nerd  
crisiskarol- i asked my google assitant when it was too early to be fighting about stupid shit and she said sexily that she could search the web for anwsers so someones lying to me  
Honeybear-its not even stupid shit, its a legit question. Tony what do you think?  
Tonytiger- i think that carol has an android therefore we should make fun of her  
crisiskarol- shut up nerd  
Tonytiger- oh ok… im sorry  
Tonytiger- uwu  
Honeybear- kill it

“Steve and Bucky got into a fight this weekend,” Natasha reports to him as if Tony had asked her whats good with Stucky

“Oh yeah, what happened?” Tony asks. They fight a lot, mostly about stupid shit. They’re that lovey couple. Steve probably forgot to tell Bucky he loved him post-handjob and Bucky took it to heart.

“Not sure, they just aren’t talking. Hope they get it together.”

“Hey Tony, Clint told me you’re not dating anyone? I know a lot of people who are interested in you,” Natasha replies.

Tony frowns but smiles a bit. "Okay, sure." He very much doubts that. Natasha hits Clint on the shoulder. “Who was that girl you were telling me about? The one who was interested?”

“Christina something? She's blonde. She seems your type! I can introduce you two.”

“My type?”

“You know. Hot and blonde. Not as hot as you babe.” Clint says flirtatiously to Natasha. She puts a hand to her chest and they kiss, Tony nearly has a panic attack when no ones looking at the road. Teenagers are really bad drivers.

Tony gags. “That is not my type at all.” They’re not listening anyway, so he’ll tell you.

Tony likes tall people who can beat him up and look high-grade doing it. He likes characters who like it cold outside and inside, like him. Tony's type is someone who will stay up late texting or talking to him on the phone, or driving him to Taco Bell. Tony's type is a girl who isn’t scared to stand by what she says or a guy who will show sentiments. Tony has a considerable taste for people who will vibe to Tame Impala or Poison to him. Tony wants someone to go crazy about him, but not in the psycho way he adds in as an afterthought.  
\-------------  
Steve and Bucky are not talking at lunch, so no one else is. Sam and Wanda, Steves' loyal followers are awkwardly trying to find out what's wrong but Steve only grunts. Bucky seems a bit sad, Tony feels bad for him. He's sitting at the edge of the table, looking like he doesn’t want to be there but he has nowhere else to be. Tony can feel that.

“Tony,” Steve says out of nowhere. He scoots over a bit, making room for him. “You can sit here.”

Tony glances at the seat he was going to sit in and then Steves. But then Steve frowns and clenches his jaw a little so Tony moves his ass next to Captain Clench-Jaw. Jesus, he didn’t know they were this close but alright. Tony and Steve were best friends during elementary and middle school. Things changed when Steve got buff Freshman year and started hanging around new people.

“How was your day?” Steve asks charmingly.

“Good, yours?”

He does not like how Steve smells like sweat, musky and irritatingly everywhere. He doesn’t like how he's in his space.

“This asshole keeps getting on my nerves,” Steve says loudly. Tony sneaks a look at Bucky. He's glowering in his direction. Shit. Is he mad cause Steves baring into Tony's space or because of Tony in his spot? Cause Tony will gladly give up his seat.

“I also failed my math test. You’re good at math, right Tony? Maybe you can give me a _helping hand_ someday. I would love to get _closer-_ ”

Steve is using him.

“Back the fuck up Rogers.” Tony snaps, daring to push Steve's chest back. His hand is damp now, he feels filthy. Filthy and hot, sweaty and difficult, uncomfortable, and painfully aware of everything. Sam, Wanda, Clint, and Natasha do not raise a finger to help him, they're watching this humiliating exercise like they’re going to have a quiz on it.

He does the only thing he can- stand up and run away.


End file.
